(Wednesday, 5 March 2008)
recently im perma on de edge of tears... kip having to hold dem baq... i tink it sounds dumb for a guy lyk me to be reacting lidat... but i cant help it lar... wrinkling up inside....
ok i haf to open up n try to accept nyjc... i realise dat i've been shutting myself out so much dat im nt enjoying aniting i do at ny... so much dat my classmate realise dat dere is a sad, emo n pessimistic side which lies behind all de smiles n laughter...
i seriously nida learn to let go... for i m sumone hu duzzen realli let go of stuff... i dun look forward... i owaes look baq... i seem to haf lost hope of evryting since my appeal failed...
i lost frens... lost odac... lost 1508... lost my wonderful tutors... n i lost 2 yrs... all bcoz of a stupid mistake which i will neva forgive myself for making it...
f*** lar y was i so stupid... if onli i cud turn baq de time... juz allow me to change my choices... so dat i can wake up evryday widout hoping evryting was juz a nightmare... n i havent lost AJ...
i tink i sud visit de beach mre often...
Input by Agent 007 @ 10:30 pm
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