(Thursday, 6 November 2008)

Yesterday, Barack Obama won the Presidential Elections of the United States of America, becoming the 44th POTUS. This year seemed to be a good year for Blacks, since Usain Bolt became the fastest man on Earth, Lewis Hamilton won the F1 Championship, and Barack Obama became the first black man in the most developed yet most racist country in the world to become President. Kudos to them, they did really well.

It's now towards the end of the year 2008, with only slightly less than 2 months left. It's a time for all of us to reflect upon ourselves in the past year and also draft up new resolutions for the New Year, hopefully a better one. Personally, it has been a hell of a year filled with small successes but overwritten by major failures on many fronts. I probably can say that I know how Felipe Massa and John McCain feel. Disappointed, dismay, fustrated but at the same time relieved and grateful for the good things that happened this year, however small they may be.

Failures are part of life, that's what everyone say. But there is a limit. Having too many failures at a go can break a person, and I am reaching that limit. Failure to make it back to HwaChong; Well that is a huge failure to me. But what was worst was that I failed to remain in AJ. Now that broke me. Yeah, I cried. My incapability to stay at AJ broke my heart into more pieces than anything else had ever done so. It's not really about the school, but the people there. NY isn't bad, in fact it's pretty good, but I just don't feel as at home as AJ. Maybe it's because I only went in at JAE, while most of them were there since PAE, so I felt left out or something. Then it was a quiet few months before promos came and gone and gave me another disappointment. Failing promos is no big deal, but to think that my fall from grace was so rapid was astonishing. Less than a year ago, I was still studying a one of, if not the most prestigious schools in Singapore. Within 12 months, I fell not once, but twice to land myself in NYJC and now I am facing the distinct possibility of rentention. I dare not face my parents' friends nor some of my relatives. I feel ashamed of myself. All this could have been avoided if only I worked harder. But we can only reflect on the past and move on from here.

I probably still have half a century to live and that is a very long time. Hence I must set credible and strict life goals for myself to achieve so that I will not fall into this deep abyss that I currently dwell in and is trying to get out from.
  1. Pass 'A' Levels with 4 As
  2. Get into Officer Cadet School during National Service
  3. Land myself a place in Singapore Management University
  4. Graduate with 1st Class Honours
  5. Own a car by 3rd working year (at least a Honda)
  6. Own an apartment (at least 4-rooms HDB or equivalent) by age 30
  7. Have personal assets worth at least SGD 250, 000 by age 33
  8. Graduate with Master's degree by age 35
  9. Start a business of my own by age 38 unless I already have a monthly salary of SGD 35,000 or above
  10. Have a payroll of at least SGD30, 000 per month by age 40
  11. Retire by age 62 with at least SGD 1,200,000 in total assets
Blogger shall be my witness as even if I delete this post, Google has already cached it, so I cannot run away from it. Also, the goals will change from time to time, but they can only be upgraded and not down. The 11 goals above may seem high-end, but as always, "Aim for the stars and one will land among the clouds." Failure to fulfill any of them will mean that I did not work hard enough, because all these goals are not difficult to achieve if one works hard enough. It will not be "what if I did..." anymore, it will be "what must I do". I am sick of failure and I am not ready to face another failure because of me not working hard enough, thus the harsh goals.

Okay, so it's not all bad this year. At least I had lots of fun with Thutmose at the beginning of the year. Those 3 months have certainly been the best in my life, and I thank the seniors at AJ and of course my friends there for making it happen.

Recently, I have been feeling a little empty. I cannot explain it but it just feels like there is something lacking in my life. Maybe it's because I've lost a couple of things this years, like I have less contact with my friends at HwaChong and AJ, my sister got married so I get to meet her less often now and also I've lost alot of time to PW. Maybe I should play less computer games and go out with friends more often, that is if they are ever free... Maybe it's the economic crisis... Maybe this feeling will eventually fade away as time passes... Now that the holidays are coming, I think I should do something meaningful like what Alika suggested when I met her today.

I leave you with something Obama said yesterday during his victory speech:

"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get ther in one year or even one term, but America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there."

Yes, I will.

Input by Agent 007 @ 7:03 pm

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